


Unless You Mean It

by WolfAndHound_Archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Marauders' Era, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-03
Updated: 2016-02-03
Packaged: 2018-05-18 01:28:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5892820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfAndHound_Archivist/pseuds/WolfAndHound_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How Sirius won Remus's heart... and some other valuable prizes, too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unless You Mean It

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Lassenia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Wolf and Hound](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Wolf_and_Hound), which was created to make stories posted to the Sirius_Black_and_Remus_Lupin Yahoo! mailing list easier to find. However, even though I still love the fandom, I am no longer active in it and do not have the time to maintain it. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in December 2015. I posted an announcement with Open Doors, but we may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Wolf and Hound collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/wolfandhound/profile).

Sixteen-year-old Remus Lupin knew before he even walked into potions class that his good friends Sirius and James were up to something. He could hear the cheering and clapping of the other students as he descended the stairwell into the somewhat chilly dungeon. _Either class was canceled_ , he thought, _or James and Sirius are right in the middle of this_. The latter suspicion turned out to be true: when Remus entered the classroom, he saw Sirius leaning James backward over Professor Parrish's desk, giving him a scorcher of a kiss as the other students egged them on. Remus only shook his head, smiled and took his seat next to Peter Pettigrew. Very little those two did surprised him anymore.

"Aren't they insane?" Peter laughed, nudging Remus in the ribs. "I could _never_ do something like that, not even on a dare!"

Before Remus could say anything, Sirius glided over to his side, put his arm around him and said huskily, "I've got one for you, too, if you want it. All you have to do is ask," flashing him a very charming grin. His long, sleek, jet-black hair tickled Remus's cheek, which made Remus tense just slightly.

Remus reached around, lifted Sirius's arm from his shoulders and said, "Don't kiss me unless you mean it. Not everyone falls for a pretty face alone," keeping his tone playful even though he meant the words. He knew how sexy Sirius liked to toy with "curious" boys, always promising what he would never deliver, and Remus preferred not to play along. For one thing, he was somewhat less impetuous than Sirius and James and didn't find much humor in it. For another, Sirius had been playing this game with him ever since that day two years ago when Remus confessed to his three best friends -- Sirius, James and Peter -- that he was mostly attracted to men. It was difficult for Remus to tell whether Sirius sought to include him in the joke or to make him its latest victim, and he didn't want to risk it either way.

There were other reasons, too, but Remus preferred not to think about them, especially not right now. When he did, it was too hard for him to smile.

Sirius pouted. "Tease."

Remus laughed. "Flirt."

"Let him do it!" James interjected. He was sitting on the teacher's desk, swinging his long legs over the edge and pushing his glasses up on his nose. "He's a damn good kisser!"

More snickers from the class.

"The three of you are completely revolting," came the sneering commentary of Severus Snape, the good-looking, ill-tempered Slytherin who had made himself the star of potions. " _Some_ of us plan to have lunch in an hour." He opened his textbook and glared at its contents.

"Friendly as always," Peter said, rolling his eyes.

Sirius said under his breath, "No kidding. He'd better get to Madam Pomfrey and have that stick pulled out of his --"

"Good morning, class," Professor Parrish said brightly as she walked into the room. James jumped off the desk, took a sweeping bow and went to his seat. Remus knew the gray-haired professor was trying her best to give James a disapproving scowl, but as usual, it manifested itself as a tiny smile instead. "Today, we're going to cover the green polywumpus potion, so please open your textbooks to page two twenty-three."

Remus didn't really hear the rest of the professor's discourse. He was too busy convincing himself that Sirius's flirtation with him was just as meaningless as it was with every _other_ boy at Hogwarts who looked Sirius's way.

_He doesn't mean it_ , Remus told himself as he watched James scribble down a note and pass it to Sirius while Professor Parrish wasn't looking. _And even if he does have any real interest in boys, it's probably James he wants, not me._ Unfortunately, it wasn't that easy to convince his heart.

_Sirius Black._

Sirius unfolded the note that James had just passed to him. It read:

"You've got it bad for Moony, don't you?"

Sirius stuck the note in the back of his textbook, grinned and cheerfully gave James an obscene gesture. But, as usual, his friend was right: he had had a crush (carefully concealed at first) on Remus Lupin since they were eleven years old. His feelings only became more intense as their friendship deepened, and they reached a new high when Remus revealed that he was mostly attracted to men. Since that day two years ago, Sirius had pursued him as best he knew how -- which was rather strange for him, since _he_ was typically the one being pursued.

_You sure as hell don't make it easy, Moony_ , Sirius thought, sneaking a glance at the object of his affections. Remus's pretty hazel eyes were fixed intently on his open textbook and paying him no mind at all. _I could have nearly any girl and at least half the boys in this school... but not the one that I really want._

On and off for the last two years, Sirius had tried everything: love notes ("Don't you ever think about making love to me?"), innuendoes, blatant flirting. But Remus never gave him the slightest hint of encouragement, not even the smallest sign of temptation. In fact, he only told Sirius to "Stop, unless you mean it," just as he had today.

Sirius always balked at those words when he heard them from Remus's lips. No one else expected that much of him; his lovers always seemed to know that their passion was temporary, meant to last for only one night at a time. But those words -- _unless you mean it_ \-- seemed to ask for so much more. Sirius wasn't certain that he was quite ready to make such a promise, not even to one of his best friends. Not even to someone he _did_.... No. He didn't want to think of it, even if it was the truth.

The "L" word was a complicated mess. Sirius avoided it as best he could, along with most other serious topics. What if Remus didn't feel the same way? What if they did become a couple, but Remus got bored with him later on? What if their friendship ended up ruined? And what if he broke Remus's heart? That one word could change everything, and not necessarily for the better. Better to leave well enough alone and hope that Remus would eventually take him for what he was: a very enjoyable one-night stand. It was safer that way and much less scary.

"Black?" Professor Parrish's voice cut into his reverie. "Sirius Black, are you still with us?"

Sirius blinked. "Oh. Sorry."

The rest of the day's lesson was fairly uneventful, save that Peter's green polywumpus potion turned out purple instead and ate a hole through his cauldron. Remus volunteered to stay after class and help him figure out what had gone wrong.

"Please, go on to lunch," Remus told Sirius and James with his usual warm smile. "We'll catch up later."

"Good luck," Sirius said doubtfully, looking at the smoking black lump that had once been Peter's cauldron. But if anyone could help Peter, he knew that it was Remus. Sweet, intelligent, sympathetic Remus, who often seemed to have the patience of several hundred saints. In fact, it was mostly Remus's tutoring that had saved Peter from failing potions _last_ year.

"We'll save a place for you," James promised as he practically dragged Sirius out of the classroom and into the hall. Once they were alone (the rest of the students were already gone), James only grinned at him.

Sirius looked at him warily. "What?" His voice echoed slightly in the gray stone hallway, and the lit torches that lined the walls flickered as if to ask the same question.

James whispered, "Why haven't you told him how you feel? You've nothing to lose for just trying."

Sirius sulked and whispered back, "I've done everything I know of to get his attention. Isn't that enough?"

James shook his head, still grinning. "He probably thinks that you're joking with him, not that I could blame him. You _do_ have a bit of a reputation." He paused and then said in his normal voice, "Let's head to the dining area and talk about it there."

It was surprisingly easy to carry on a private conversation in the dining hall at Hogwarts. For the most part, other students were too engrossed in their own conversations to pay much attention to anyone else's. Sirius told James everything, including the worries that held him back; James told Sirius that he was being ridiculous, and that he shouldn't let a good thing slip away.

"If I'd never said anything to Lily," James pointed out, "do you think that we would be together now? If you want him as much as you say you do, you have to take the risk." Lily was James's very cute girlfriend, who James had been seeing for the last three months. She probably would have been at the table with them right now if she hadn't been sick in bed with the flu, and she probably would have told Sirius exactly what James was telling him now. And, deep down, Sirius knew that they both would've been right.

"But you know I'm not good at that sort of thing," Sirius responded, absently folding and unfolding his burgundy cloth napkin and staring straight ahead. "I wouldn't even know where to begin."

James turned thoughtful. "Then, maybe you should _do_ something about it instead of just saying the words. Something that he couldn't mistake."

"Like what?"

James whispered his idea, which made Sirius laugh. "What do you think?" he asked.

Sirius answered, "I think you're a genius." Then, his smile faded. "But if this does work...."

"If it works," James finished for him, "you'll have won the heart of one of the kindest, most wonderful people either of us has ever known. You shouldn't be afraid of that."

_Remus Lupin._

On Saturday evening, while all the other students in the Gryffindor boys' dorm filed down the stairs to the dining hall for dinner, Remus was stopped from leaving the room by Sirius's grabbing hold of his sleeve.

"I'm kidnapping you for the night," Sirius told him with a wink. "Follow me; I've got something to show you." He had his wand in hand.

Remus frowned slightly in cautious puzzlement. "Padfoot, if anything explodes, catches fire, or turns into a goat...."

Sirius snickered. "It's nothing like that this time. Please, just trust me."

Somewhat reluctantly, Remus followed Sirius out of Gryffindor Tower and down into one of the secret passageways they, James and Peter had found last year. At the end of it rested Sirius's gleaming black motorcycle, acquired just last summer, which Sirius had enchanted for flight.

"We're going for a ride," Sirius said brightly. He slipped out of his black wizard's robes and left them in a pile on the floor. Under them, he wore muggle clothes: a black leather jacket, a white T-shirt, black leather boots, and close-fitting black leather pants. Remus's heart skipped a beat when he saw him like this. Obviously, certain aspects of the muggle world did have their appeal.

"I... thought you only took girls on this bike," Remus said quietly as he watched Sirius put his wand in the small compartment at the rear of the bike. When Sirius Black had one of his "bike dates," he always seemed to come back happy.

Sirius responded, "There's a first time for everything," his expression softer than usual. Gazing into Remus's eyes for just a bit longer than necessary. Then, he cleared his throat and laughed nervously. "So, Moony, are you coming or not?" He climbed on the motorcycle and looked back at Remus over his shoulder.

Remus blinked. "I suppose I will." He got on, too, nearly tripping over his robes as he did, and wrapped his arms around Sirius's waist. _This is... rather nice_ , he thought and held on a little bit tighter. He could almost hear Sirius smiling.

Sirius started up the bike, and seconds later, they were off. "Even better than Quidditch, isn't it?" Sirius said over the roar of the engine as they soared above the Forbidden Forest. The treetops looked like thick, billowing, dark-green clouds from this height. The ground below was a mottled carpet of green, black and brown.

"Much better," Remus agreed in a far-off voice, and his reasons had little to with the view, the bike, or the way the wind blew through his hair. He had never been this close to Sirius before, close enough to feel his heartbeat and rest his head on his shoulder, inhaling the clean, soapy smell of Sirius's hair and skin mingled with the slightly musky scent of leather. Close enough to feel the firm, sculpted muscle just under Sirius's thin T-shirt....

Remus's cheeks suddenly felt very warm, and other regions of his body offered a response as well. _Control yourself, Remus_ , he told himself, drawing in a deep breath. _You know that what you really want is probably more than he's willing to give._

After about half an hour or so, they landed in a clearing in a distant woods, right beside a small brook with a tall birch tree at its bank. "I usually come here to be alone," Sirius said as he stepped off the bike. "I don't know if you believe me or not, but... you're the first 'date' I've brought to this place. I wanted to make this something special." He helped Remus get back on solid ground and then opened the compartment at the back of the bike. From it, he retrieved his wand and something wrapped in a blue-and-white handkerchief that he set on the ground.

"Maximus!" Sirius pointed the wand at the bundle, which glowed a curious shade of yellow. The handkerchief spread out and expanded into full-size blanket, and the other items became a picnic basket, a bottle of sparkling cider, and two lovely champagne glasses. "I would've gotten wine," Sirius explained, "but I didn't want you thinking that I'm trying to get you drunk."

Remus stood there for awhile, struck speechless. "You did all this... for _me_?" To the best of his knowledge, Sirius Black had never gone to this much trouble for one of his would-be conquests. An evening in Hogsmeade? Occasionally. Snogging in one of the school's hidden rooms, or even in a classroom that no one was using? Frequently. But as far as Remus knew, this surprise romantic picnic in the forest was a first.

Sirius nodded. "All for you, Remus," he said softly. "I just wanted you to know that I was serious this time."

Remus smiled modestly, but he didn't say anything. _Maybe it's possible after all._

_Sirius Black._

Remus had been quiet for much too long. He hadn't spoken in at least ten seconds since Sirius had told him why he'd done all this. Sirius asked, "Well? What do you think?" putting on his patented crooked grin and hoping for the best.

"I think," Remus replied, "that I hardly know what to say." He looked so beautiful right then, with the way his windblown light-brown hair fell about his shoulders and framed his pale, delicate face. Sirius noticed that Remus's cheeks were slightly flushed, and he hoped it wasn't just because of the wind.

Silence again.

_It's now or never._ Sirius cleared his throat and ran his hand through his hair nervously. "Ah, Remus...."

"Make love to me."

Sirius blinked. "What?" He must have heard him wrong. Remus couldn't have said those words.

Remus repeated, "Make love to me. Right here, right in this field." He looked Sirius right in the eyes as he spoke.

Sirius laughed a little, pleasantly bewildered by Remus's sudden boldness. "I, um... thought you'd never ask." He wrapped his arms around Remus's slim waist and drew him close, taking a moment to savor the warmth and closeness of the other young man's body. Then, as gently as a whisper, his lips touched Remus Lupin's for the first time.

Not long thereafter, the panic set in.

_Oh, God, he's never done this before._

_And I'VE never done this before with anyone that mattered._

_What if I do it wrong?_

_What if I disappoint him?_

_What if I...?_

"I... I'm sorry," Sirius apologized, pulling away from him. "I probably shouldn't 've done this. I mean, I--"

Remus put his index finger to Sirius's lips and shook his head, smiling gently. "You don't have to worry about it," he whispered. "You said that you wanted to make this special, and for me, it already is." He kissed Sirius on the cheek. Then he took Sirius's earlobe ever-so-lightly between his teeth and teased it with the tip of his tongue.

Sirius shivered and closed his eyes. "Um, Remus?" he asked, "What are you doing?"

Remus murmured, "Making it easier for you," and kissed him on the neck, running his hands up Sirius's back. "You aren't the only one who's wanted this."

"...You're doing a damn good job."

This evening wasn't going quite as Sirius had expected it to. In his mind's eye, he had pictured himself the master lover who would make all of Remus's dreams come true, fulfilling even fantasies he'd never known he had. In his dreams, he had seen Remus as innocent and timid, the delicate virgin in need of a teacher to help him overcome his inhibitions. But as of now, innocent, "timid" Remus had tossed Sirius's jacket and shirt aside and was unzipping Sirius's pants with his teeth. "Are you sure you've never done this before?" Sirius asked, only half joking.

Remus laughed and looked up at him, still kneeling. "I'm certain of it, last I checked. But I have quite an active fantasy life." He placed his hands on Sirius's hips, coaxing him into kneeling as well. Then, he guided Sirius's hands to the buttons of his robes.

Sirius asked, "And what do you fantasize about?" going to work on the buttons and eager to see more of Remus's skin.

"You," he replied without hesitation, "ever since we were twelve years old." Remus sat perfectly, patiently still as Sirius slipped the robes off his shoulders, leaving the garment as a puddle of black cloth. "Well? Do you like what you see?" Anxiety flickered in his honey-hazel eyes while he spoke.

Sirius let his right hand trail over Remus's bare shoulder, down his arm, and finally, he held Remus's hand. He knew why Remus was nervous about this; the reasons were right before his eyes. When Remus transformed into a werewolf, he often bit and scratched himself, which had left many tannish scars on his otherwise perfect creamy skin. "You're beautiful," Sirius told him truthfully. He kissed Remus on the hand. "I've never wanted anyone more than I want you right now."

That becoming hint of rose crept back into Remus's cheeks as he lowered his long lashes. "Thank you," he said. He placed his hands on Sirius's shoulders and slowly eased him onto his back, straddling him.

_Definitely not what I expected_ , Sirius mused as he reached up to toy with Remus's shoulder-length brown locks and stared into those warm, golden eyes that seemed to reflect the setting sun. _But I can't complain._ He closed his eyes as Remus leaned in for a kiss and, after a moment, he parted his lips slightly to permit Remus's tongue inside.

Sirius had kissed and been kissed this way many times before. The first time was courtesy of James Potter, when they were both thirteen years old and wondering what it felt like. Later on, they came from girls (and on one occasion, another boy) who he forgot about two weeks later. But as his tongue played with Remus Lupin's... as they explored each other's mouths and let their hands roam each other's bodies... he was amazed by how intimate this simple act could be. It wasn't just lust or experimentation, but something far more powerful that Sirius never expected to feel.

_So, this is what it's like_ , he thought, _when you're in love._ He gasped and tilted his head back slightly while Remus's moist lips made their way down his neck and ravished the sensitive flesh. "That feels... so good...." His hips twitched forward once as his arousal became more intense.

Remus paused in his affections just long enough to finish undressing Sirius, which drew a long, shuddering sigh out of him. "Is that better?" Remus teased. He grazed Sirius's erection with his fingertips, nearly driving him mad. But it wasn't so much the touch itself as the fact that it had come from _him_.

"Much," Sirius rasped. Then, wide-eyed, he watched as Remus kicked his robes aside and slipped out of his underwear. "I see... you're enjoying this just as much as I am."

Remus laughed. "You might say that." He kissed Sirius on the shoulder and murmured, "You can touch me, too, if you like."

Sirius didn't say a word. He simply rolled the two of them over, reversing their positions.

Remus _was_ quite beautiful: slender, lissome, elfin in his grace. There was almost no hair on his body, save for the patch of brown curls at his groin. Slowly, slowly, Sirius let his hands slide over Remus's chest, gazing down at his unclothed splendor. Then he bent down to nuzzle that patch of brown hair.

"Mm...." Remus closed his eyes and drew his knees up slightly. Sirius took this to mean "Go on."

Sirius took Remus's shaft in his hands and ran them up and down its length, squeezing just enough to give some pressure as he did, until a loud moan escaped Remus's lips. "I'm not doing this too hard, am I?" Sirius asked, concerned. The last thing that he wanted was to hurt him.

"N... not at all," Remus gasped. He arched his back and sucked in a breath. "You're absolutely perfect...." The slightest sheen of sweat was forming on his brow.

"Good." He cupped Remus's balls in one hand and massaged them for a time, stroking the shaft more lightly now. He knew that he was torturing Remus now with a touch just firm enough to tease; his expression was curious mix of desire and dismay. But before he could he could do anything about it, Sirius found himself on his back again. Remus pinned his shoulders down. Sirius blinked.

"Don't toy with me that way, Sirius," Remus said with an impish twinkle in his eyes. He was trembling with need; Sirius could feel him shiver. Then he descended upon Sirius with a torrent of ravenous kisses.

Sirius couldn't say for certain if it had been minutes, hours or days. Time had lost all meaning to the power of Remus Lupin's passion. Even now, Sirius was surprised that such a gentle, soft-spoken creature kept this kind of fire within -- and that he, Sirius Black, was the only one who _knew_ it, let alone had experienced it. "Remus...." Sirius groaned. His fingers dug into Remus's shoulders as Remus ran his hot, wet tongue along the underside of Sirius's throbbing shaft. "I can't... take much more of this...." Touching the line between pleasure and pain.

Remus raised up and caressed Sirius's cheek. "Do you want me to...?" His expression soft and questioning.

Sirius nodded quickly and gestured towards his discarded leather jacket. "Left pocket... check there."

Remus reached inside the jacket pocket and pulled out a tube of lubricant. He laughed and observed, "You certainly had confidence, didn't you?" Then he squeezed some of the clear, slippery gel into Sirius's shaking hands. Sirius, knowing his cues, spread the gel over Remus's hard cock... lay back... and parted his thighs. He heard no sound right then, save for the pounding of his own heart, as he waited anxiously for the act to be completed.

It took a little while for Remus to position himself. Then, finally, it was time. Sirius gasped and gritted his teeth; this hurt more than he'd expected it to, even though he knew that Remus was doing his best to go slowly. Remus said softly, "We can stop if--"

"No!" Sirius let out a shaky breath. "Just takes some time...." He closed his eyes as Remus continued, and he felt it when Remus paused every now and then to let him get used to this. He took in shallow, gasping breaths until Remus spoke again.

"I'm completely inside of you now," Remus told him in a voice thick with emotion. "I suppose the worst of it is over."

When Sirius opened his eyes again, awareness began to crystallize in them. It shone as a sparkle of starlight silver somewhere within those dark-gray pools. Wordlessly, Sirius reached up to hold Remus as close as he could; he gasped when Remus began his gentle, experimental first thrusts. "More," Sirius whispered. Remus gradually picked up the pace and, as he did, stroked Sirius's shaft with one hand.

Sirius moaned Remus's name as he felt himself approach the brink and screamed it when he went over the edge. "Remus! Oh, God...." Like the phoenix, he had died and was reborn in the very same instant. He knew he'd never be the same.

He barely even heard it when Remus called out _his_ name, too.

_Remus Lupin._

Long after they'd finished making love, Remus and Sirius were still wrapped in each other's arms. They were also wrapped up in the blue-and-white blanket that was supposed to be used for their picnic which, from the looks of things, would probably wait for another day. Neither of them said anything; right then, it wasn't necessary. Even the stars seemed to wink their approval.

_So, this is how it feels to make love_ , Remus thought with a pleasantly weary smile. Sirius wore the same expression. There was no doubt that this was real. There was no doubt that what they had shared was everything Remus had hoped it would be.

"You think they'll know?" Sirius asked. He lazily wound and unwound a lock of Remus's hair around his index finger.

"James will," Remus said without hesitation. "And even if he didn't, surely we would have to tell him."

"Mm-hm." Sirius was quiet for a time, but his expression revealed every thought. Remus was thinking the very same thing. "Remus," Sirius began, "I'm not very good at this sort of thing, but... I... I...."

Remus said, "I love you, too," and snuggled against his chest. Then he added with an impish grin, "And next time, I'll let you be on top."

The End.


End file.
